Friday, April 28, 2017

The Year of 59 (4)



I'm all funeral out. Of course I know that it's just life. The older I get the more I have to experience it.  It's one of those things about life that can be hard on a person especially emotionally. The very first funeral I attended it was my aunt, my dad's sister. All I remember really is going to the cemetery. I rode in a car with my younger cousins and I just couldn't understand why they were playing soul music on the way there after we had just left the church. I didn't know then how difficult they can be.
Life is not life without death. We all know this but some how dealing with it is so hard. Knowing that we're all only here on this planet for a short time and not knowing when that time or when someone we care about may leave is hard to think about.

I know the Bible tells us there is a time to live and a time to die. I really do like that scripture in the Bible. Ecclesiastes 3, I love how it's said a season. The seasons comes and goes like life. I love there is a purpose under the sun. We're all here for a purpose. That get thrown around a lot my purpose. I struggled with that actually, 10 years ago. I floated around not knowing what my purpose was. It looked as if everyone else knew their purpose except me. That was my pretentious of the world around people I thought they knew just what they wanted for their life and was working towards that. Girl, I was so wrong. I learned that I was living my purpose all along. Caring for people and loving and respecting others. Being there for those when they needed me. Trying to show love to everyone although I fell in that area (talk about that later) but being a loving sister (they may not agree with that), daughter, mother, friend, and teacher.  I devoted a great deal of my life loving Christ. Again I realize now that I wasn't the best christian on this earth. I didn't share the gospel with others like the Bible ask us to yet I loved The Lord.

I discovered other purpose and realize that I may have another purpose and my life as I continue to live. I thought it was just one thing and that's all I focus on that one thing. I thought it was to be a teacher now I realize that everyone are teachers. We teach in so many ways it just doesn't happen in a school. It happens all the time. So yes that was my purpose to teach and to continue to teach.

Life is complicated and life is fun. I've met so many loving and caring people on this earth I've learn that death come in many forms. I've experienced it so many times when I say good-bye to a very loving friend and we lose contact and lose that connection we had it was a death. A slow and quiet death one that may never be rekindled but stays within me as I wonder how's that person doing and wish we were still good friends. Ever time a friend moves on or I move on I experience that death. It's not just burying a person that you've loved for years it can be that last good-bye and see you later. Then life comes in and before you know you and that person have moved on and formed new friends.

Creative Journaling — Karlie Winchell | Creative Designer: Back to death. The last four years it seems that ever year someone passes away. The tears for me have fallen a lot for those that I love and their season has ended. Each time the memories of our time together flood though me. I laugh and I cry. Sometimes I was happy for that person because they didn't have to suffer any longer. Sometimes I cried like a baby because I wasn't ready for that person to leave this planet earth. I question God but knew there were no need for that because He knows what's best for us all. They've planted and reap what they planted. They've cried and seen wars. They've partied and danced and probably gotten drunk. They've lived their life and I'm sure have done so really good things in this life. God says from dust we've come and from dust we will return.

Season we're all in one for how long no one knows
I'm sure I'll have more to write on this subject.

Thursday, April 27, 2017

The Year of 59(3)

I never really liked my body as a young woman. I wanted to be small and thin like several of my friends were over the years. I always seemed so much thinker than they not fat but thick. My thighs were always thick as watermelons. So round and bounces. As I look at them now they seemed to have spread over the years. It doesn't help to have a job where I sit all day and having worked out for months. Somebody (me) needs to join a gym like yesterday. That's a fear of aging is not being able to move around with ease and the only way to ensure that is to workout. I'm going to look into joining somewhere next week. My mom did very well as she got older. She worked in her garden religiously. As she aged she moved fairly well. I loved the little muscle that would stick up on her arms. I don't garden so that means hitting the gym.

My arms are getting thick too and that flabby look where your arms dangle when you lift them up. I gotta get in the gym. There's a older woman weight lifter that's been in social media and she's like a rock or a stone wall I should say. Not I don't want to look like that although she looks fantastic at 81 I just want to feel good and look good. That means hitting that gym and making it work. What I really don't like is dragging my feet. Every once and a while I hear my feet dragging as I walk around the house. This ticks me off as I know that I'm not doing enough to keep my body oil and strong so it's showing and everyday things like walking. It's time for me to take my body back. Black Women Do Work Out:

Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Year of 59(2)

I'm pretty excited about doing a blog on my year of 59. I've often wondered about my mother and sister when they were my age. Neither shared about their change I really didn't noticed their changes into later in life. Mom looked young for a very long time like me I remember people saying that she looked so much younger than her age. I seemed to inherit that too. Rhodia body seemed to change and it was showing the aging process the knuckles on her hand began to swell looking like pecan sitting on them. I noticed there were big knots sitting on her elbow as well. She didn't complain much about it knowing what was going on. We knew that her body would be only get worse as she aged and I couldn't imagine what it would like.

Yesterday, I wanted to let my landlord know about a couple things at the house. She called me and I could not think of what I wanted to tell. I went on the tennis court and there she was and I still couldn't think of what I wanted to tell. After she drove off then I remembered. I was so upset that I couldn't remember. I seemed to forget things now more than I did a year ago. I love the walking out of the room and then going into the room and forgetting what I wanted from that room. I use to hear older people say its the mind that goes first. NO! That can't happen There's too much to remember especially in this generation with passwords for every thing you do on the computer. My son was upset that I didn't remember his phone number. I don't need to know it anymore because it's locked in the phone.

Of course everyone my age is fearful of losing their mind no ones wants to relay on someone for everything they would have to do. One thing that I have a real difficult time remembering is my address now that's not good at all.
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Tuesday, April 25, 2017

The Year of 59

  The year is quickly moving by it's already the end of the month and spring is in the air. The winter linker for what seemed forever. Although, it was a pleasant winter. I really enjoyed going out on the court in January playing tennis. Unbelievable in January. I enjoyed every minute of the nice weather we had especially after the harsh weather we had two years ago. That 10 and 11 inches of snow was wiping me out. 

  I've decided that I'm going to use this space to write about the ending of my fifties. I'm still in disbelieve that I'll be 60 in January. I wanted to take the time to write about my year of 59 and share what my thoughts and some experiences I will have as I end my fifties and enter into my sixties.  I wish I would have thought of this in January when I turned 59 but I've learned as I've aged that it's never to late do what you want to do. 

The numerology number 60 is a number of family, home, and nurturing.

It's also a number of harmony and idealism, the ideal generally related to a harmonious family relationship.
60 has maternal and paternal instincts. It assumes responsibility for the welfare of others, especially those it considers to be family.
The energy represented by the number 60 constructs a concept of how things should be for the welfare of those in its sphere of existence. This influences how 60 nurtures its family and approaches it's responsibilities.
Responsibilities are taken seriously. They include responsibilities 60 takes onto itself as well as those 60 perceives are expected to be assumed by someone at the helm of a family's well-being.
There is an urge for everything to be, or continuously get closer to, the ideal according to the point of view of the number 60.
The numerology number 60 is comfortable interacting with others. In social situations, 60 may put itself forth to guide the agend

The time clock of life is pressing forward. I remember when I was just 20 and thought I had a long time before I would be 60. That time flashed right passed me. I'm going to share my happy days and my not so happy days. I'm going to share the changes that going with me mind, body and soul. I'm going to be present in my last year of 59 and you're going to know all about it.