Moving On

Man, I hate having this experience yet again moving into another place. I'm blessed yes in deed. My landlord had another place for me to rent. That's what I hate me never buying a house. Which is way I keep finding myself in this very frustrating place all over again. I'm so blessed not having to go look for a place and having this place not far from the place I'm living in now. It's a cute place so much smaller than what I have now. I'm grateful that it's a flat and not an apartment because I'm still not ready to live in an apartment building with lots of people around. 

It's great that God knows our desires He knew I didn't want that. Yet, I find myself upset that I have to move again. I kick myself all the time that all my life I've had a job but yet I never saved enough money to buy a house for myself. This is so heartbreaking for me that I didn't value myself enough to not make away for me to own my own house.  I have to laugh at myself because I pride myself on being a little more educated then my parents but yet my mother own her own home she even died in her house. Look at me worked all my life working everyday and no house to show my work. That's so heartbreaking. 

I can't really blame anyone but myself for this. I put myself in this situation so I don't have anyone to blame for being in this predicament that I find myself in at this place in my life. It doesn't say much about me, right? I can't turn back the hands of time and make things better or do things differently. I'm here and all I can say is don't be like me. I can't find any other way to express how bad I feel about being in this space in my life. 

Home owner ship is a beautiful thing and I truly missed the boat in not making that happen for me. I can only hope that my granddaughter do much better than I.

                                                                     AARP

I'm 64 and my son is 49 that time of seeing him grow just flew by. I can't believe the conversation we had the other day.  I couldn't imagine that we this day would come. I imagined high school graduation picking out photos to give to people for graduation. I thought about picking a college he would attend but for some odd reason I didn't imagine this day, talking about retiring. 

He's thinking about retiring soon and looking into another job.  I'm thinking about retiring and the next five years and this starts our conversation. In my mind I didn't want to see him retire I wanted to see him working as a police officer for at least 10 more years. I just didn't want to see him as a older man. A full grown man. A man that has watched his own child go off to college and now getting ready to finished her dissertation in Chemistry.  Here we were talking about retiring. I listened to him talk about starting his life over doing something else with his life. This isn't the conservation that I just couldn't imagine being around to hear that conversation. Although, we're only fifteen years ago I saw myself much older than he. The hands of time just keeps on clicking although it may seem slow it really speeds along. 

Before I know it I'll have a great grandchild greeting me.

Oh Them Bones

 

Oh, Them Bones

Being 64, is a pain in my knee. My life has changed so drastically because my knees ache all the time. I really shouldn't be so surprise seeing that arthritis runs deep within my family. I thought I was going to get past it because I've been doing well all this time. It all started about three years ago after I would play tennis my body would feel funny. No pain just not feeling well.  Then a year later my knee would hurt. Now it's hurts all the time. I'm not happy about this at all. I really don't want to look into getting surgery only because I just don't want to be cut on. 

This life change is just what I didn't want to happen to me as I aged. I've been working out more since then. I continue to look at myself looking for more signs of aging. Why am I getting so worked up over this? Aging is going to happen I just have to except this and continue on. Yes, I can do something like workout and probably look into getting the surgery. I believe there is more going on with me when it comes to aging. I'm not ready to really look deep into it. There' so many changes that are really happening that I feel as life is just over coming me. I'll have to take a deep breath, pray and move on. I probably need to get the rubbing cream close by too.