Wednesday, May 11, 2022

                                                         My Mind is Wandering


Actually, I have a lot running though this mind of mine. Today is Kirk's retirement party his work is giving him a party.  He's officially a retired man. Unbelievable! He's very excited about it. I know he's ready for something different. One of those life things. I know when I was working here at CCH for twenty years I was so ready to move on. I did get tired of the same old conversations and arguments we would have. I know my ego was running over time thinking that I knew everything and everybody else had no clue. I have to laugh just thinking about that when I was in limbo. I wanted out and so I decided to leave. 

He's doing pretty much the same thing getting away from the same people arguing about the same thing and the same people. Off he goes to another adventure more of the same thing with different people. I'm happy for him blessed that the Lord kept him save for 26 years as a policeman. People always wanted to know if I was worried about him.  Maybe in the beginning I was worried my cousin was a police officer and he had gotten shot so that did stay in my head. Then my brother asked me how often how often did I hear reports of a police getting shot. At that time it wasn't often that you would hear about a police getting shot. I had to just relax and believe that he was trained well and that God would keep him save. 

I remember once living in an apartment and and a cop rung my doorbell. I quickly buzzed them in and they informed me that they were there for my neighbor. I believe my heart fell to my toes that day. I was relieved and scared at the same time. Seeing those police officer at that door was probably the most frightening experience I had ever had at that time in my life.  I had heard that's what they do when a police officer is shot come to your door to let you know. I was so grateful that God let him serve for 26 years and he never had an injurer.  What a blessing!

Now we're here and he's moving on. He's still going to be an officer just different in that he would dealing with a smaller population of people. He's a good people person so he should do well. That's the other thing about him so many people adores him. When I posted he was retiring on my Facebook account I got over a 100 comments and likes when ever I put something about me I may get 30. Everyone was wishing well. Many commented that they were very proud of him and how much they loved him. That's beautiful to read and know about your son. The man I was hoping and praying he would become. He became.

As for me I feel so worn out now especially from the move. My body feels like I had ran into a brick wall. My body aches I'm really feeling my age. My knees doesn't want to move lately and just think I was working out for over six months so they would be strong. It didn't work. Moving is so hard to do right now. My knees just don't work like that use to.  Maybe being in a smaller place is just what I need. All I think about these days are getting older. I feel like crying.

It seems all I hear these days are the words "retirement" it's pretty weird. I came into work today and a couples of coworkers were talking about it. It's so amazing that the subject just keeps coming in. Like a reminder that I'm headed in that direction. What can I say I'm definitely feeling it. I constantly think about getting older it's like its a broken record just going around in my head over and over. Of course I worry what's next for me? Lately, I've been watching the 70's show Family a lot lately too. Those days when I was just a teenager. I was so worried about becoming an adult. Wow! life is just a circle that goes around and around. I see things that I've seen before only in different forms, shapes and sizes. That's what my mind have been wandering about over and over again.