The Year of 59 (4)

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I'm all funeral out. Of course I know that it's just life. The older I get the more I have to experience it.  It's one of those things about life that can be hard on a person especially emotionally. The very first funeral I attended it was my aunt, my dad's sister. All I remember really is going to the cemetery. I rode in a car with my younger cousins and I just couldn't understand why they were playing soul music on the way there after we had just left the church. I didn't know then how difficult they can be.
Life is not life without death. We all know this but some how dealing with it is so hard. Knowing that we're all only here on this planet for a short time and not knowing when that time or when someone we care about may leave is hard to think about.

I know the Bible tells us there is a time to live and a time to die. I really do like that scripture in the Bible. Ecclesiastes 3, I love how it's said a season. The seasons comes and goes like life. I love there is a purpose under the sun. We're all here for a purpose. That get thrown around a lot my purpose. I struggled with that actually, 10 years ago. I floated around not knowing what my purpose was. It looked as if everyone else knew their purpose except me. That was my pretentious of the world around people I thought they knew just what they wanted for their life and was working towards that. Girl, I was so wrong. I learned that I was living my purpose all along. Caring for people and loving and respecting others. Being there for those when they needed me. Trying to show love to everyone although I fell in that area (talk about that later) but being a loving sister (they may not agree with that), daughter, mother, friend, and teacher.  I devoted a great deal of my life loving Christ. Again I realize now that I wasn't the best christian on this earth. I didn't share the gospel with others like the Bible ask us to yet I loved The Lord.

I discovered other purpose and realize that I may have another purpose and my life as I continue to live. I thought it was just one thing and that's all I focus on that one thing. I thought it was to be a teacher now I realize that everyone are teachers. We teach in so many ways it just doesn't happen in a school. It happens all the time. So yes that was my purpose to teach and to continue to teach.

Life is complicated and life is fun. I've met so many loving and caring people on this earth I've learn that death come in many forms. I've experienced it so many times when I say good-bye to a very loving friend and we lose contact and lose that connection we had it was a death. A slow and quiet death one that may never be rekindled but stays within me as I wonder how's that person doing and wish we were still good friends. Ever time a friend moves on or I move on I experience that death. It's not just burying a person that you've loved for years it can be that last good-bye and see you later. Then life comes in and before you know you and that person have moved on and formed new friends.

Back to death. The last four years it seems that ever year someone passes away. The tears for me have fallen a lot for those that I love and their season has ended. Each time the memories of our time together flood though me. I laugh and I cry. Sometimes I was happy for that person because they didn't have to suffer any longer. Sometimes I cried like a baby because I wasn't ready for that person to leave this planet earth. I question God but knew there were no need for that because He knows what's best for us all. They've planted and reap what they planted. They've cried and seen wars. They've partied and danced and probably gotten drunk. They've lived their life and I'm sure have done so really good things in this life. God says from dust we've come and from dust we will return.

Season we're all in one for how long no one knows
I'm sure I'll have more to write on this subject.